I started my first website in the early 2000’s. I one day turned on my TV and stumbled upon a second season episode of Dawson’s Creek. Witty Pacey Witter with those light eyes of him, reminding me a bit of my dad, just caught my eye immediately. Dawson’s Creek quickly became an obsession, which is funny because I have watched so many tv shows from season one to season gazillion, and DC only seasons 2-3-4, and it’s still my life’s TV Show. But anyways, yes, JJ. It was only natural to me to build my first website as his fan page.

Because of him I also practised a lot of English. No Portuguese websites about Pacey, no. And so I decided to build mine to that broad audience. After a few months aired, I posted there that I was looking for a Sister Site - a partner website, very popular in the 90s. A few days later, a dutch girl replied that post.

And, I am a web designer today, who breathes tv shows and uses English in a major part of her day. Dutch girl? She is one of my best friends, came to Brazil in 2006 and is still in my life up until this date.

So cut to this month. Comic Con going on in San Diego and I’m like, eeh I don’t like comics. Except they apparently have pannels and what not about TV SHOWS. Except they had one about FRINGE. And except that Joshua Jackson got crrrrrazy and started his own Pacey Con across the street, with the DC theme playing over and over. And of course, my dutch friend Valerie was the one who told me this. I laughed so much I cried. So, San Diego 2011 anyone?

And that makes my events I will most likely be missing annually even though I will be crying my eyes out while people live tweet from them up to four. Westminster Dog Show in NY (february), SxSW in Austin (march), Comic Con in San Diego (summer), and the French Bulldog Nationals, held Sept-Oct every year in a different part of the country. I am sure there are more events, but I’d rather be in the dark… Sponsor, anyone?

1st place
THE POSTAL SERVICE - GIVE UP

Soft, electronic, to drive and to fall asleep, timeless. To walk home, to walk with your dog, to go to work. I love it. To sell you this album I should refer you to Such Great Heights, and while I love it, I will give you my absolute all time favorite:

***

2nd Place
THE DECEMBERISTS - THE HAZARDS OF LOVE

The kind of album you have to listen to it fully. For the ones out there who have been paying attention, this is where Tallulah’s name came from. It has a beautiful story and amazing tracks. And below is how it starts…

***

3rd Place
SILVERCHAIR - DIORAMA

The best album by my favorite band of all times. Good, orchestra-y but rock-y. Rainy days. If you know me well enough you will be wondering why it only made third place. But Silverchair is in a category called “doesn’t even count”, ha. I recently remembered I never got the Across the Great Divide tour album and it’s been out for three years now. After I got it a couple of months ago, I wanted to kick myself for not getting it before. It got me hooked all over again.

***

Bonus - Best Soundtrack: ONCE

I seriously considered for one tiny second to mention the Garden State OST, which is amazing, but Once is outstanding and off the charts. Once is one of my favorite movies. It is touching, cute, beautiful really. And the soundtrack is addicting and everyone can relate to them. If you like Once, check out The Swell Season. :)

Below is one of the most powerful songs I know up to this date. I can’t listen to it without finding myself filled with je ne sais quoi.

Being a Leo defines a big part of who I am. Bossy, likes things her way, lives for attention and dies for her friends. So a birthday to me should be perfect and all about me. I can’t help it, this is just how it is. In Brazil, winter vacations are in July, so I never experienced a birthday at school. But I confess that my mom would have totally let me skip school on my birthday, had it been differently.

So this is a list of birthdays I’ve had so far, the bad and the best.

Age Seven
I remember sitting in front of the cake and my best friends then, Luca and his sister Naná, being around it singing and wishing me a happy birthday. My mom and some family members, very few, were also there. I just felt so loved.
VERDICT: Best.

Age Nine
The day before, my mom told me to make plans for the big day. According to me, we would wake up and go to this huge toy store, get a doll stroller, proceed to a baby store where we would get real baby clothes for my doll and then have lunch at Chaika, this huge neon colorful diner. Afterwards, a walk at the mall and more shopping. At the end of the day, air conditioner and a huge coke. It didn’t happen like this exactly, but it was enough to put me in a bad mood. I am tough at birthdays, I tell ya.
VERDICT: Bad (then), Best (looking back).

Age Eighteen
I had college buddies, school buddies and my boyfriend come to my house. It was a nice and quiet party and I liked it. Indeed, all about me. As I was turning 18, we decided to go gambling. I spent seventy bucks and got twenty bucks back and felt like a winner.
VERDICT: best

Age Twenty
I had my best friend from holland visiting me, a plan we had made together six years before. It is surreal up to this date. It was all so overwhelming, turning twenty, having her and not being able to figure out what to do with my life. I just laid down and cried. And she stood next to me. Poor her… I feel so bad.
VERDICT: wtf woman.

Age Twenty Two
Spent it alone, covered in boils (had the chickenpox all over, and a nasty one at that) in the dark. People came over and had fun in the living room without me but I actually went out in the dark to blow my birthday cake candles.
VERDICT: boils? On my birthday? How did you know? BAD.

And this is how one of the many Stephen King books I’ve read started, in another one of his brilliant forewords, and this one line stuck with me for good. Has some way with words, Stephen King does. But it just so happens that I do want to talk about fear.

A whole year has passed. A lot has happened, but all in all, it seems that I am still the same. No big surprises, growing up.

Yes, there were a few bumps and scratches and I’ll be the first to admit that. The way I chose to take - or the way Someone out there nudged me toward - might not be the one with the prettiest scenery, but I am trying to keep the destination on my mind, albeit a faded picture from time to time.

Fear. Yes, fear.

Not fear of the cookie monster, or the Bathroom Blonde. We have all outgrown those. What we all have not gotten over are the skeletons in our closet. And believe me, we all have a couple of those.

My number one thing to outcome when blogging is being myself and realizing that no one is perfect. It gets me on my nerves when I see people showing to the world only a fraction of their lives, the one that looks good. So I am here to laugh at myself, to talk about life and to expect it to make some sense.

I am letting go of that fear and I just wish everybody would. In the mean time, please take your information with a grain of salt.

In other words, I’m back.

I hope this makes me want to blog more. It’s been a couple of hectic months, but I feel that if I don’t talk about it, my head will explode. Work is fine, but very demanding. I haven’t even begun crossbrowser testing for IE 8 yet, but I do know that my kennel site is going floopy on it. Crossbrowser testing for IE 6, IE 7 and Firefox is as much as I can handle, sorry. Kill IE 6 for good and I might consider ading IE 8 to my list. And my excuse for not adding Safari, Chrome or any of those guys is that if I manage to put up a site that gets through IE and Firefox, then those guys needn’t worry. But what I really don’t want is more trouble. So… Shh :P

Breeding world is… Exactly the same. Seems like every week there is another European frenchie around. Some are gorgeous, some are not, some come from wonderful lines and some… don’t. I do have some things cooking up for this year but they are all so uncertain and full of what-if’s that right now all I can say is that I am expecting.

And I can’t help but mention swine flu. People everywhere in the world are tweeting fretting over it. How about you - worried, concerned, indifferent? I am leaning a bit towards indifference and being mad about it. People are making such a fuss. Calm down!